Second Dialogue Nights Lite Deepens the Practice of Dialogue

The second edition of the Ikeda Center’s new Dialogue Nights Lite (DN Lite) series was held on October 4, 2024. As the Center’s Preandra Noel explained in her welcoming remarks, “when we started brainstorming with our youth committee what a new series could look like, many of them expressed a desire to learn and strengthen more dialogue skills, to better connect with people in their lives.” This means that DN Lite focuses more on the practice of dialogue than the exploration of topics of concern to university students and young professionals, which forms the heart of the original Dialogue Nights series, now in its seventh year. The second installation of the new series featured two refinements: additional rounds of speed-connecting (paired dialogues) and the inclusion of creative ways to silently reflect on the quality of each paired dialogue before entering into the next one.

Because of its focus on learning and strengthening dialogue skills, each DN Lite opens with an introduction to the Center’s four Dialogue Commitments and nine Dialogue Ground Rules. The Commitments—which are inspired by Mr. Ikeda’s philosophy of dialogue—invite participants to: avoid pre-judging and categorizing people, strive to bring out the best in oneself and others, listen to and learn from each other, and remember that change begins with us. Informed by the commitments, the Ground Rules outlines practices that ensure high-quality engagement. For example, Ground Rule 2 proposes that “we will work together to create a safe space where we can be vulnerable and imperfect”; Ground Rule 4, that “we will embrace new perspectives with the openness that we may not always be right”; and Ground Rule 7, that “we will not devalue or ‘put down’ anyone’s experiences or lack of experiences.”

One innovation of the Dialogue Nights Lite series is that each gathering is co-moderated by pairs of Ikeda Center youth committee members. Tonight, these were Anna Lane and Mary Schletzbaum. Mary shared the “fun fact” that she speaks Swahili and has a diploma in square dancing” and Anna said that “95% of the time I go see a movie or play, I fall asleep, only for about 10 minutes, but it happens.” Setting the stage for the evening’s activities, Mary explained that for Daisaku Ikeda, “the foundation of dialogue is to have faith in human beings or, in other words, to believe in another person’s inherent goodness.” Confirming the value of this, Mary said that “extending to someone else the opportunity to get to know you is the practice of having that faith, so let’s give it a try.”

Over the course of the evening, participants had the opportunity to engage in four speed-connecting rounds based on the following questions: (1) How did you get your name? (2) What were some hobbies you wished to pursue when you were younger? (3) What is something you want for your community? (4) If you could go back in time with the knowledge you have now, what advice would you give to yourself from five years ago? Before the fourth round, Mary offered everyone encouragement, observing that “dialogue isn’t always easy, so thank you everyone for your courage and willingness to deeply engage in it tonight.” 

Following the last round of speed connecting Anna introduced the evening’s takeaway activity, which gave everyone a chance to process the different “emotions and thoughts” that emerged during the dialogues. As with the first Dialogue Nights Lite, added Mary, the format for the takeaway was inspired by this quote from Mr. Ikeda:

If one drop of the water of dialogue is allowed to fall upon the wasteland of intolerance, where attitudes of hatred and exclusionism have so long prevailed, there will be a possibility for trust and friendship to spring up.

In that spirit, each participant received two cards, one shaped like a seashell and one like a water droplet. On the seashells they were invited to write one fear or doubt around dialogue they would like to leave behind. And on the water droplets, ways they strengthened their dialogue skills during the evening and ways they hope to apply them in daily life. Here are some representative takeaways from the universally thoughtful responses:

Seashell: doubts being left behind

• Fitting into other narratives while losing myself in the process
• Concern with saying what “feels good” over saying what’s true
• My fear of people disliking me
• Not being confident enough in my answers. People are genuinely interested in what I have to say so I should feel confident taking up time and space.
• That I’m unable to relate to others’ experience

Water droplet: skills that were strengthened

• Asking inquisitive questions without making them about myself
• How to connect with people without having prejudices during our first encounter
• Becoming more comfortable to go into themes that make me feel vulnerable
• Being more of an active listener, giving my partner enough space to finish their thoughts
• Tying together what has been said to me and using it as a springboard to elevate the dialogue

Considered together, the takeaways confirmed the wisdom of a quote from Daisaku Ikeda that Mary had shared earlier in the evening, one that sums up the purpose of the new Dialogue Nights Lite series. “The true value of dialogue,” said Ikeda, “is not to be found solely in the results it produces but also in the process of dialogue itself, as two human spirits engage with and elevate each other to a higher realm.”