Mitch Bogen
Millennials are often called “the anxious generation”—and for good reason, said Center Program Manager Lillian I in her welcoming remarks for the fifth and final Dialogue Nights of 2019. There is no shortage of reasons for this generation of young people to be in a “constant state of panic,” observed Lillian: “living paycheck to paycheck, not being able to pay rent, will I ever be able to save enough money to buy a house or have my own family, what is the purpose of my life, and the list goes on.”
Held on December 13th, the event was called “Millennial Challenge: Appreciating the Uncertain” and was attended by more than forty Boston-area university students and young professionals. It proceeded in true Dialogue Nights fashion, confronting head on an issue of deep concern for people in their 20s and 30s while engaging them in discussions that summon the potential for positive transformations. As always, a quote from Center founder Daisaku Ikeda provided inspiration.
Regardless of what storms may blow, what angry waves may threaten, you must keep shining at all times with a pure, steady light. This is what I want to say to all the young people of today who are undergoing hardship, for depending on how you bear up under hardship, the trials of today could turn out to be our most precious possessions. (Hope Is a Decision, p. 24)
With that, Lillian introduced the evening’s first icebreaker, which actually served as the first dialogue of the evening, with everyone pairing up to discuss “one challenge you face as a millennial and in what ways it is challenging for you.” After a ten-minute discussion, some of the participants shared reflections. One spoke of what he called “customer service syndrome,” in which people walk around afraid to be honest, because of all the online scrutiny we all face. Others shared points relating to challenges posed by our digital lives. One said that she grew up using social media without knowing any of its dangers, but even though she knows them now she’s too hooked into that environment to stop engaging with it. Another spoke of the pressure of making sense of things and “creating your own narrative” in a world characterized by “an inundation of information.” Related was another’s comment that social media platforms like Instagram create pressure to feel like you are “using your time well.”
The second icebreaker dialogue asked participants to gather into groups of four to discuss “one thing that makes them feel uncertain and how they usually respond to that uncertainty.” One theme that emerged during brief sharing pertained to trying to balance practical matters of maintaining a solid job while also finding a way or feeling free to explore other options that might be fulfilling. For example, one participant is a programmer but would really like to develop as an actor. In this vein, another participant questioned how much each of us really wants to change if we can’t commit to making it happen. Another mentioned a subtle kind of uncertainty that might occur in the daily course of things. Sometimes when interacting with someone, she “puts something out there” hoping for or expecting a certain kind of response, but not getting it. Learning to sit with that kind of discomfort is a challenge, she said.
The Center’s Events and Publications Coordinator, Anri Tanabe, introduced the next dialogue activity, saying they would now “focus on the positive aspects of uncertainty.” She said that they could build off the topics they explored in the previous dialogue or choose something easier to deal with. If finding the positive aspects seems difficult, that’s okay, she said, since “shifting the way we think about something takes practice; but the more we do it, the easier it can become.” Anri said that for herself, when uncertainty brings a “gut feeling” of being “overwhemed and afraid,” she sticks with it, consciously asking herself, “OK, what is good about this?” Often she ends up actually being excited about her prospects. To focus the dialogue, she offered this quote from the SGI Quarterly (July 2009):
While the admonition to ‘count one’s blessings’ may seem trite, in times of trial a sense of gratitude for what is good in our lives can ground us and provide a basis for meeting and overcoming difficulties. In this sense, gratitude is the key to unlocking a more open and rewarding perspective on life.
Building on this quote, Anri asked participants to discuss two questions in groups of four: 1) What are some positive aspects that come with the feeling of uncertainty? 2) What does appreciating the uncertain mean to you? Five minutes before the end of this 25 minute dialogue session, Anri asked groups to jot down a list of things they are grateful for. Most of the ideas that emerged during open sharing revolved around the benefits of getting out of your “comfort zone,” including entering on a path to new knowledge, increasing your capacity to change, and, quite simply, making life more exciting. Regarding this last point, one participant added that life is especially exciting when you enter into uncertainty with another person. Another benefit was that uncertainty can also help each of us “develop self awareness of what we need” as a person.
The final dialogue session drew inspiration from the Daisaku Ikeda quote shared earlier that “regardless of what storms may blow,” if “you bear up under hardship” with resolve and positivity, the “trials of today could turn out to be your most precious possessions.” Commenting on this insight, Anri said, “We feel that this quote gives us power to create, or begin to imagine, an alternate perspective than the one we may be holding now; even if things are difficult today, when we look back, it is possible that it will take on a different meaning if we don’t allow ourselves to give up in this moment.” To guide this final small group discussion, Anri asked participants to respond to two fill-in-the-blank style questions: I am uncertain about (blank); but I appreciate (blank). I am proud to be a millennial because I can (blank).
As is the new Dialogue Nights tradition, the evening ended with an “open mic” session, moderated by the Center’s Office and Program Assistant, Preandra Noel, in which participants could share concluding thoughts, impressions, and inspiration in a free flowing way. Here are condensed versions of some of their open mic offerings:
After thanking all the speakers, Preandra turned the mic over to Lillian I, who offered some closing thoughts. After first sharing the crucial information that there was plenty more food left to partake in, Lillian thanked everyone for “coming out on a cold winter evening” for the final Dialogue Nights of the year, adding that “your participation and willingness to engage in dialogue means so much to us and we are constantly learning from you all!” After noting how she is inspired by Mr. Ikeda’s conviction that a “rising tide of friendship within the younger generation cannot fail to transform society,” Lillian concluded with her own optimistic vision for our shared future: “I hope we were able to form new friendships tonight, deepen our sense of appreciation for our challenges, and feel a sense of mission as Millennials to create a better world for ourselves and for future generations!”